09/19/2010
So this one is coming a little late in the week- but hey, now it’s in a convenient blog format. I was looking through the preseason one earlier and noticed that the pictures didn’t load properly- which blows. So I figured blogging will be easier going forward- and since I didn’t get any responses on the first one I’ll just assume no one is reading them anyway. In which case it doesn’t really matter where I publish the newsletter. I’ll email the link each week- so we can use the email chain to discuss. Again, I’m not expecting all of you to delve into my ramblings, but by the same token I’m not going to stop sending it so you’re more than welcome to print it out and shove it up your ass. Oh and don’t worry pussies- the blog isn’t searchable in any way but I won’t use anyone’s last name just in case.
I received exactly 0 votes for the naming of the trophy so I’ll extend it another week. FYI this is what’s on the table for voting:
- SFMABL Cup-
- Poon Bowl
- The Dorothy Mularz Cup, or for short “The Dorothy.”
Please submit votes by next Thursday night.
II. Football Thoughts:
Great opening week! The Pats looked sharp and there was some entertaining football. Sadly I no longer have the red zone channel so I only saw highlights after the Pats game. The upside is that my Sundays are no longer exclusively devoted for football so instead of staring at the tv like a slackjawed mongoloid for 10 hours I might actually go outside and.. I don’t know… do stuff?
III. Random Thoughts:
Goddamn it I love fall. If I had to rank the seasons it would go Fall (or autumn* if we’re being classy about it), Winter, Summer, Spring. Winter and summer are close, and if it weren’t for skiing I’d have summer in the 2 spot. But seriously, fuck spring. It pisses rain, there are no fun holidays, baseball starts but no one gives a shit until late June. It’s warm but not quite warm enough so you’re always stuck in the shitty gray area of jacket or no jacket, shorts or pants, bathrobe & Viking helmet or smock and Indian headdress, etc… ok that last one might be a problem just for me.
*Ever wonder why fall has two names? Why don’t the other seasons have a classy alternate name? Because fall is fucking awesome- don’t ask so many questions asshole.
IV. Recap
The Chumguzzlers, the Corporation and the Gin and Juicers all came out of the gate strong with performances nearing or eclipsing 100 pts. Sadly for the Craporation they played one of the two teams that outscored them so Paul’s quest for an undefeated season will have wait another year. I’d keep with the horse racing analogy but to say that Schaub On My Knob stumbled out of the gate would be an insult to clumsy horses. Lets just say that Brett started his season like he starts his stories; with a bunch of nonsense that doesn’t amount to much. Shonn Greene’s -0.15 points Monday night was a nice kick in the balls to any hopes that a win could have been salvaged with some poon ball. Seriously Brett- you’re trusting your No. 2 running back duties to this guy?
This week in smack-talk: Some solid gems out there and it’s nice to see some solid banter going. That said, with smack talk, as in life, there are winners and losers. Lamest line of the week comes from Paul who pathetically whimpered, “If I'm going to get bent over after putting up 98, let's just get it over with” as the Gin and Juicers out lasted him in a shootout. Best line of the week has to be The Chumguzzlers who taunted last year’s league whipping boy Focus on the Abs with, “maybe table the abs for the time being and focus on your team not sucking so much cock.”
V. Preview
An early season meeting between the top two teams has to be number 1 on the slate. No doubt this game would earn the Jim Nance / Phil Simms broadcast while Focus on the Abs v. The Horny Immigrants would probably get the Spero Dedes/Randy Cross. Seriously- I had to look that up, who the fuck is Spero Dedes?
Can you imagine the Pat’s ever being bad enough to get Spero Dedes calling their game? Let us pray this does not happen. Finally this week we have the battle of Maine, or like to call it “Battle of the State that I would be most ashamed to admit I was from”
V. Conn Memory
Another short one this week- I caught the end of the Michigan St. v. Notre Dame game when I got home last night. The Spartans faked a field goal in overtime to get the win- celebrating in front of the student section. For the 1,000th time I day dreamed about going to a school with a DI football program. Oh well- our dance department was the tops!
Well that's it gents. Hope you enjoy the new format, and whether you do or don't, as always, go fuck yourselves.
