Monday Night Poonball! - Season 2 - Week 2

UPDATE: Vernon Davis is now factored in

DuN dun dun duuuun; DUN DUN, DUN DUN. Da dan da dan daa duuuuuun duuuun duuuun duuuuuuun....BA BA DA DUN DAT!

Are you ready for some POONBALL? Poonball will hereafter be defined by the occurrence where the team ahead after Sunday's matchup comes from behind and beats their opponent on Monday night. I know there was some debate about the derivation of the term but this is the definition I'm using. Don't like it? Go fuck your mother... or get your own blog.

What if I was to tell you that every week I will be summarizing the implications for each monday night match, and the probability that poonball will occur? Is that something you might be interested in? No? fuck you then- I'm doing it anyway:

So 49ers v. Saints- lots of players in action and a few reasonably close games. Here's the rundown.

Chumguzzlers v. Gin and Juicers: The CG's are up by 5 and still have the Saints D yet to play. Sadly for the Gin and Juicers they're done sucking men's penises playing for the week so it's not looking good. Defenses can however score in the negative so I was worried for a minute until this text exchange between Andrew and I:
me: What's the most amount of points a defense can lose?
Andrew: Just one, sir.
me: Sucks to be you then.
Chance of poonball? 0%

Cooter's Grundel v. NY Bailout: Kurt has a whopping 37 point lead on the two-headed abomination that is the Ryan / Biz ownership. The NY Bailout will need just that from Michael fucking Crabtree and Lucky Pierre Thomas but it's not completely out of the picture.
Chance of poonball? 12.7%

The Corporation v. Schaub on my Knob: Roth's squadron is done for the week with the exception of Vernon Davis after a monster day from their namesake while Paul is only 12 points behind and still has the 49ers D and Marques Colston. Sadly points by one will likely come at the expense of points by the other- that combined with Paul's shit luck on Monday night doesn't have me too hopefull, but 12 points isn't that much in our league. Colston could score it on his own, hopefully in a situation that gives him a 1 point victory, only the score puts the 49ers in the red for a -0.01 loss. That would be AMAZING.
Chance of poonball?53 .67%

Focus on the Abs v. Horny Imigrants: Jay's sad-sack team is down by 42 points and need to have the Breesus absolutely butt-rape the 49ers D, roughly 450 yds and 5 TD's should do the trick- keeping in mind that every brees TD only nets Jay 5 points since Clancy has the Saint's kicker.
Chance of poonball? 2.84%

Multiple Scoregasms v. The Kicking Ben's: Oh it's a tight one in The "We Frown Upon Literacy" State... that is Maine's motto right? Wyley is clinging to a two point lead like Paul clings to whatever remains of his heterosexuality. But there are no members left in the scoregasm clubhouse to fight off The KB's lone warrior still in the fight. Hey- mix metaphors much? Don't mind if I do. Anyway unless Gore chokes on his own cock or does something retarded, like fumble twice and get yanked from the game (right Brett?) Labrie should inflict some serious poonball this evening.
Chance of poonball? 94.6%

Enjoy the game gents. See you Friday AM.

Oh and you can still all go fuckyourselves.