Monday Night Poonball! - Season 2 - Week 3

Hit it Hank!

ARE YOUR READY FOR SOME POONBALL? A MONDAY NIGHT PARTY? WITH POONS HAPPENING LEFT AND RIGHT, ALL MY ROWDY FRIENDS ARE COMING FOR POONBALL NIGHT!

Well are you? Bosephus wants to know. We have no close games this week but with Aaron Rodgers and a few others in action there’s always the possibility for poonball, however remote it seems.

Chumguzzlers v Horny Imigrants:

Well this one is all over but the crying myself to sleep curled up around a half empty bottle of peach schnapps shouting. The Horny Immigrants are done for the week but they have a commanding lead of about 68 points. The Chumguzzlers have Jermichael Finley still to play but he would need the following to stats to bring home the win for the GG’s (NFL Single Game Record in parentheses): 6 Touchdowns (5), 20 receptions (21), and 450 yards (336). If you think I’m not aware of A. That these feats have never been accomplished by the same player in one game and B. That the record for TE’s in receptions and yards are well below the all-time receiving records I’ve noted then I suggest you refer to the comment above re: crying and schnapps.

Chance of poonball? 0.00000043%

Focus on the Abs v. NY Bailout:

Looks like NY Bailout has found a way to right the ship. Heading into Monday night they have a solid 18 point lead on their basement dwelling neighbor Focus on Everything But Scoring Points the Abs. However Jay still has mensa candidate Devin Hester (I defy you to find a dumber player in the league). The following stat line for Hester would be enough to push Jay over the top (his single game best in parentheses): 1 touchdown (1), 6 receptions (4), 100 receiving yards (77) and 80 return yards (17). So basically no. 23 will have to pretty good but not necessarily great game.

Chance of poonball? 19.72%

Cooter's Grundel v. The Kicking Ben's:

In what could end up being a battle for first place Cooter’s Grundel has a solid 40 point lead on the KB’s but Sean has nearly half his line up (Rodgers, Jennings, Packers D) going against Kurt's Donald Driver. Driver could erase the impact of Rodgers TD's if they go his way but if Jennings is the guy tonight then Labrie could easily erase the deficit. A 40 pt pooning would be spectacular and would give Sean 2 poon's in a row!

Chance of poonball? 38.39%

Schaub on my Knob v. Gin and Juicers:

Down 23 Brett basically needs his kicker to drop an Andy Jackson on the Zima Gin and Juicers. It's actually not impossible, the record for field goals in 1 game was set by Rob "My" Bironas a couple years ago at 8- which alone would be worth 24 not counting extra points and long field goals. A 20 point deficit erased by a kicker? That would be even better then Sean's comeback.

Chance of poonball? 1.84%

Multiple Scoregasms v. The Corporation:

Matt Forte! Come grab the ball and run this way... and that way... and maybe catch a few and then run into the endzone. Paul will need a 20+ point night netted against whatever Mason Crosby can score for Wy- Forte is definitely capable as he seems to be a key player in Martz's offense but Crosby should be good for 8-12 points, so really this quite a tall order for Forte. Is poonball completely ruled out? Of course not, it never is. 3 TD's and 100 yds rushing, and 8 catches and 40 yards receiving ought to do the trick. I don't know- I'm getting to lazy to calculate all these stats but I'm pretty sure that would work. Lets be honest though, it's Paul, you and I know this isn't going to happen.

Chance of poonball? 14.6%

Enjoy the game gents. See you Friday AM (maybe).

And by all means, go fuckyourselves.