Monday Night Poonball! - Season 2 - Week 4

GO PATS! Fuck yeah. I’m not going to lie I’m a little nervous about the game but this does kind of have the trappings of one of those games where everyone shits all over the Pats all week and then they go out and demolish the other team. I hope so- if Brady can avoid locking in on Moss they could put up 30+, and asking the D to hold Miami below 30 shouldn’t be too much of a tall order…. Right? Right?

Anyway- only two games have an actual chance at Poonball, but of those two only one has a statistical chance greater than the odds that Conn will ever crack the top 10 on the US News rankings. Lets get to it!

Chumguzzlers v Schaub on my Knob:

Oh Roth. You must have felt like a genius benching Schaub in favor of Cutler. Classic case of over-management. I’d make fun of you some more but I pretty much did the same thing by benching Rashard Mendenhall who contributed 17 or so points to my bench score. Sweet. Anyway- the only thing that can happen tonight is me covering the spread as Ronnie Brown and Ben Tate attempt to kick Roth’s sorry team while they're down.

Chance of poonball? 0%

Focus on the Abs v. The Kicking Ben's:

And Jay’s battle with Paul to be the 49ers of our league continues. This one is over as well and the Kicking Ben’s settling into place as a contender for the playoffs.

Chance of poonball? 0%

Cooter's Grundel v. The Corporation:

Undefeated vs. Winless with Paul trailing by a solid 40 points he’ll need a monster game from Brady, Welker and Miami’s kicker Dan Carpenter. That said- if each player comes close to their season high for the year then Paul can win by double digits. Either way it will be an interesting set of circumstances because I, like most of you, love to watch The Corporation fail but I will not root against the Pats under any circumstances.

Chance of poonball? 67.39%

NY Bailout v. Horny Imigrants:

In what must have been a defensive struggle the NY Bailout edged Clancy’s squad by less than a point and Clancy’s squad is out of bullets. Moss and Gostowski can pile it on for Ry/Biz to make it a definitive statement that they are not the doormat of the league we all expected them to be.

Chance of poonball? 0%

Multiple Scoregasms v. Gin and Juicers:

Wyley managed to put together a solid 34 points in a pathetic effort that can only be saved by the Patriots D setting some sort of record for fantasy points scored and simultaneously shutting down Brandon Marshall who is the last player going for the Gin Soft Serve Ice Cream and Juicers.

Chance of poonball? 0.0069%

Once again GO PATS! See you Friday AM (maybe).

And once again, go fuckyourselves.