The D's that T!: The D's that T- Season 2

Look everyone needs a bye week, even your intrepid author who just didn’t feel like spending a beautiful Sunday morning last week writing a fantasy football column. Sorry. Now my question for you is what did you do with the time you would have otherwise spent pouring over every word of mine? You cranked one out didn’t you. The internet is a sketchy place my friends, sure, you start off innocently enough. Maybe some girl on girl, a little point of view, but its easy to stray down the darker paths isn’t it? How far did you go? Gerbling? Equine? Snuff Films? You sick fucks. Makittuq the Eskimo has returned to tell you that your depravity continues to sadden him.

I. Football Thoughts

Speaking of bye weeks- the NFL is done with bye weeks for the rest of the season so from here on out every team, baring injuries, will be at full strength in our fantasy matchup. So we’ll have to find different excuses for why we lose. In other news Thanksgiving football is this Thursday and I can’t fucking wait. The thanksgiving games are such an awesome tradition, and even though they haven’t always been great matchups there have been some memorable games. I’m glad Detroit and Dallas are the home teams every year- it would be wrong to take it from Detroit just because they’ve been terrible. That game basically has to be their superbowl- which doesn’t necessarily bode well for the Pats who are hoping to improve on their 1-2 record this year against the Lions. The good news for everyone involved is that they’ll be wearing their throw-back white-on-white uniforms.

II. Random Thoughts

So Four Loko- the caffeinated malt beverage with approximately the equivalent of 4 budweisers and a red bull in each 23 oz can, was taken off the shelves this week in Mass. Luckily, Clancy had anticipated this move and stocked up. Basically its disgusting but the lemonade flavor was at least easy to get down. We had one each- and honestly I did feel pretty drunk but not over the top. Its such a sad example of how reactionary our government is. Oh no! A couple of white college students died of alcohol poisoning- SUE EVERYONE, BAN WHATEVER THEY WERE DRINKING! Ridiculous- yes, lets band Four Loko because there is no way anyone couldn’t easily recreate its contents with, oh I don’t know- combining alcohol with an energy drink? Dipshits.

III. Recap

Two weeks of recaps is a bit more then I’m capable of right now (refer to discussion of Four Loko above) but I’d be remiss if I didn’t give Paul credit for sending me an audio text of No Chance!, the Corporations WWE them song, after T.O. officially scored enough points to give him a thorough Monday night poonball win. Incidentally he scored exactly enough points to both beat me, but prevent me from winning my other league’s game; a set of circumstances that I’d like to think I handled pretty well (refer to discussion of Four Loko above).

IV. Preview

Again, no stats this week from Jay- but I will highlight that Kurt, Sean and Clancy have all clinched playoff births while everyone else remains alive though Jay and Wyley are outside looking in at this point. Jay would need a miracle but its important to note that Wyley will basically need to get in on wins since a tie between him and Paul would go to Paul at this point due to his sizable points scored advantage.

V. This Week in Horatio Cain

Horatio is taking another yet another week off- for some reason I still can't do the word bubbles on my mac. How about some boobs instead?