Why hello there, and welcome, to a special thanksgiving edition of the D’s that T. Happy Thanksgiving to you, and you andyouandyouandyou. I hope this day finds everyone well amongst kith and kin. Some of you may give thanks for making the playoffs this year, while others may only give thanks that you have not yet been eliminated from contention. The Pilgrims, as we all know, set out from merry old England to throw off the shackles of religious persecution, and to one day create the building blocks for a new nation whose citizens would live free enough for ten jackass college friends to assemble fictional sporting teams from the players of actual sporting teams, pit these “teams” against each other on a weekly basis, and trade insults and dick jokes over an internet message board. Yes my friends, this is what thanksgiving is all about, and I, for one, give thanks for fantasy footballs’s very existence.
Also for booze, I give thanks for sweet lady alcohol, because goddamn it if I don’t love me some sauce around the holidays.
I. Football Thoughts
Can you imagine how much the average NFL D-Tackle puts away on Thanksgiving? Well you don’t have to thanks to my awesome ms paint skills:
II. Random Thoughts
So this is a bit old but did you hear about how the NHL is letting its players vote on team captains for the All-Star game, and then those captains will pick their own teams? HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT? It actually makes me wish I was more into hockey, as it stands now I’m able to name a handful of the big stars and most of the Penguins, maybe some Bruins. Still, I’m probably going to watch this game. I don’t think the NHL gets enough credit for the moves they’ve made to bring the sport back to relevancy- hockey was completely dead after the last labor disagreement. The marketing of the Crosby and Ovechkin rivalry has been great, the outdoor games are amazing (another thing I watch every year without fail), and now the all-star game.
My point is I wish football would do something like this, but it would have to be offensive and defensive captains for both teams since I highly doubt Chris Johnson has the football IQ.. or total IQ to pick an adequate defensive squad. The Pro Bowl is a useless exercise that loses relevancy every year it seems. They need to do something, anything, to give it a little more meaning. As it stands right now the game is about as interesting as Cricket.
III. Recap
Well there have been some high scoring games of late but really the playoff picture has shaped up so lets take a look at that shall we? The Kicking Bens, Cooter’s Grundel, The Horny Immigrants, The Pond Scum Gin and Juicers, The ChumGuzzlers, and Schaub on my Knaub have all secured playoff births. This means that NY Bailout, The Corporation, Multiple Scoregasms, and even the lowly Focus on the Abs are all very much alive. But Jim Mora Sr. doesn’t think we should talk about Playoffs.
IV. Preview
Still plenty on the line in some of these games. Ryan / Biz can lockup the second to last playoff spot with a win. Paul and Wyley can’t lock up the remaining spot today but since they’re playing one another someone is going to come away with a much bigger chance at the last spot. Labrie has a solid lead in the points race but Clancy and Andrew are still in it.
V. This week in Horatio Cain
He’s back!
VI. Readership Test
Did you know Ryan was the basis for the book / movie Precious? Its true!
VII. Conn Memory
Look I wanted to have a reason not to post this picture, I really did, but you guys just want to see this picture week after week so who am I to get in the way of that?
So happy Thanksgiving everyone, have some turkey, some cranberry sauce, and then go fuck yourselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment