The D’s That T
CC Legends Fantasy Football Season 9:
THE QUEST FOR THE DOROTHY
The draft is now officially in the books and we are mere days from our ninth season of pretend football. This is my third crack at doing a weekly newsletter for the league. I made it all the way to Thanksgiving last year before losing steam; which to be fair was an improvement on 2009. When I began the second year of the newsletter I had just started a new job and had a fair amount of downtime. I kept adding new sections and eventually got to the point when things picked up at work where I had a template that I just didn't have time to fill each week.
I’m going to simplify the format this year to give myself the freedom to write as much or as little as I like. The overall look will be similar and some familiar faces will remain a part of the action. The flamboyant dancer who shows up when you fail to submit Conn stories, Mattachuk the Eskimo, and Horatio Cain will all stop by from time to time.
I'm not sure what is more sad - that I’ve deluded myself into imagining that any of you care about the formatting nuances of my stupid fantasy football newsletter or the look on Kurt’s face after he drafted Ryan Grant?
I’m going to simplify the format this year to give myself the freedom to write as much or as little as I like. The overall look will be similar and some familiar faces will remain a part of the action. The flamboyant dancer who shows up when you fail to submit Conn stories, Mattachuk the Eskimo, and Horatio Cain will all stop by from time to time.
I'm not sure what is more sad - that I’ve deluded myself into imagining that any of you care about the formatting nuances of my stupid fantasy football newsletter or the look on Kurt’s face after he drafted Ryan Grant?
Seriously it can't be a good sign when the first page of a Google image search for your RB shows him upside down and fumbling. It was the perfect 'oh shit' pick. Even before someone pointed out that he's had an awful preseason and could very well get cut before week one, Kurt already knew he wanted a different player. It was a great moment and I only wish we had a picture to capture the forlorn look on Kurt's mug. Oh well. Speaking of pictures from draft day can we discuss the panic pick?
I'm talking about Creeeeeeeeeeedon! He was so flustered he totally copped to the fact that he was about to make a panic pick (an unprecedented admission). To his credit, he clearly had other things on his mind: the title that has eluded him for the past nine years, the nearly 4 ounces of Guinness impacting his judgment, the hurricane tropical storm that was potentially ravaging his home, and… other things. I'm sure we won't see that picture again in the newsletter this year.*
*we will definitely see that picture again in the newsletter this year.
*we will definitely see that picture again in the newsletter this year.
Now it wouldn't be fair to only reveal Andrew's most intimate thoughts during the draft. I reached out to Clancy and asked him to shed some light on what was going through his head while he drafted:
Sorry- turns out its illegal in most states to even write about what was on his mind.
The draft may have set a record at 1 hour and 45 minutes and was surprisingly a smooth operation considering the inclement weather and five people on a conference call. Sadly Wyley forgot his How to Totally Burn Your Bro's joke book this year but we did learn that he lives a double life on the internet as gentleman named Samir Vanjani:
I have no joke here. Wyley basically pretends to be this guy on the internet. I'd ask him to elaborate on the whole thing but I'd rather slam my ball sack in a car door so anyone who's curious will have to follow up with Wyley / Samir directly.
Overall I'd say the draft was nice and efficient but a little low energy. I vote for not having it on a Sunday again. Keep in mind that next year will be the 10th anniversary of the CC Legends League so perhaps we can do a weekend trip. I'd suggest Foxwoods, Atlantic City, or even Las Vegas but knowing you cheap fucks this is probably a more likely destination:
Sorry- turns out its illegal in most states to even write about what was on his mind.
The draft may have set a record at 1 hour and 45 minutes and was surprisingly a smooth operation considering the inclement weather and five people on a conference call. Sadly Wyley forgot his How to Totally Burn Your Bro's joke book this year but we did learn that he lives a double life on the internet as gentleman named Samir Vanjani:
I have no joke here. Wyley basically pretends to be this guy on the internet. I'd ask him to elaborate on the whole thing but I'd rather slam my ball sack in a car door so anyone who's curious will have to follow up with Wyley / Samir directly.
Overall I'd say the draft was nice and efficient but a little low energy. I vote for not having it on a Sunday again. Keep in mind that next year will be the 10th anniversary of the CC Legends League so perhaps we can do a weekend trip. I'd suggest Foxwoods, Atlantic City, or even Las Vegas but knowing you cheap fucks this is probably a more likely destination:
What? Is it too soon for Michael Vick dog-fighting jokes? Or too late? Hey, its the preseason fellas, they're not all going to be gems.
So that's about it. Andrew has the teams up so we can start admiring our draft work or if you're Clancy you can quietly weep while you regret using your laptop to peruse the "hairy bush" category on youporn instead of paying attention to the draft.
I might put some more stuff up between now and week one, but in the mean time gentleman, though it is a new year, with new beginnings, some things haven't changed. So as always, go fuck yourselves.
I might put some more stuff up between now and week one, but in the mean time gentleman, though it is a new year, with new beginnings, some things haven't changed. So as always, go fuck yourselves.
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