Week 1

And we’re off!  An exciting week of football to start the new season.  I’m just so thrilled to be back to my favorite things:  Football, America, Jesus, and making out with my guy-friends Chevy Trucks!    

Sure, I’m already a week behind on the D’s that T but as we established in the previous edition this year’s format is going to be less rigid;  basically when I have time I’ll update, hopefully every week.   What’s that?  You’re unhappy with this new free-flowing arrangement?  Well you can fist yourself mercilessly register your complaints with the CC Legends Newscorp front office:  

Now that I’m back in Boston I have regained access to the greatest thing to happen to television since the Real World v. Road Rules Challenge:  NFL Redzone.  Gentleman it is fucking crack.  No commercials, no time-outs, nothing but scoring drives, touchdowns, and highlights.  If your cable provider does not offer this channel you should probably kill yourself.

Speaking of which- please, I beg you not to ask me what I would do if given the choice between saving your life and losing NFL Redzone.  You would not like my answer… except for Jay because he irons my pants / shirts before weddings.

Recap

Well Kurt’s team appears to have maintained last season’s form with a 31 point blowout of perennial league whipping boy Wylie.  Naturally this is not in the literal sense since his team is comprised of a brand new set of players and is only related to the prior year team in name and their owner’s propensity for golden showers.  Speaking of last season’s form Jay’s team, Bagel with Butter, put up a solid 58 points.  This would have been perfectly acceptable for a division III women’s basketball team but sadly this is fantasy football.  Bagel with Butter?  More like Bagel with AIDS!  What?  Too far? Meanwhile, in what should have been called the “everyone hopes they both lose” bowl Paul edged out Andrew.   Some other games also happened.

And now for a new segment I like to call Sad Colts Fan Poor Decision of the Week:

Seriously, this guy was wandering the streets of Charlestown last weekend during halftime of the 4pm games.  He looked so forelorn.  I suppose losing your starting QB for the year and getting anhilated by the Houston Texans would do that to a person.  Also, what was he doing in Charlestown?  And who buys an Austin Collie jersey?  So many questions I wanted to ask but instead I just took a picture and laughed at his misery.  Anyway the poor decision goes to yours truly, who decided to start Matt Ryan, on the road, against Philadelphia while Matt Stafford dropped multiple TD's on the Bucs for 23 fantasy points.  23 points which could have meant a victory against Labrie and not having to be the person shamed BY THE VERY PHOTOGRAPH THAT I TOOK!  Whatever, fuck you Matt Ryan and fuck you Sad Colts Fan. 

Contribution from the Reader(s)

Nothing this week so he’s back and he is FABULOUS! 

I need a new closing so I'm going to mix it up this year and just say that I'll see you cunts next tuesday.