Are you ready for some football? No seriously I’m asking because this week’s matchup between New York and St. Louis is about as compelling as reading facebook posts. Oh really? You ‘like’ summertime? What an extraordinary thing we have in common. Lets you, me, and the 13.4 million other people who also like the summer time have a picnic by the sea! Speaking of facebook:
Why yes attractive Asian person I did. Now then, let’s take a look at the possibility for some poonball this evening shall we?
TighterThanDickskin 121.30 v Bagel w/ Butter 99.53: 0.00%. The only thing left undecided in this one is what clever taunt I’m going to use on Jay. I think I’ll do the thing where I pretend I don’t know whether or not having the high score is good. Then I’ll ask if I broke fantasy football.
Gin and Juicers 86.63 Match v Power Bottoms 117.65: 9.43%. Mario Manningham would need a huge night but the St. Louis defense is hindered by the fact that they’re the St. Louis defense so this isn’t a completely foregone conclusion.
The Corporation 65.62 Match v NY Bailout 91.25: 12.02%. Paul still has Ahmad Bradshaw but 25+ points is a tall order. Again, not completely out of reach- refer to comments above re: the St. Louis defense being the St. Louis defense. *
Multiple Scorgasms 66.15 Match v TBD 95.80: 3.08%. At first I thought Wylie had three guys left to play but it turns out Dez Bryant put up 0 points on account of a thigh injury and Antonio Gates bagled on account of a dilapidated Pats secondary who literally let everyone else but Gates score on them. So Wyley is left with a questionable Steven Jackson to erase a 30 pt defecit net of whatever impact the Ram’s kicker scores for investmentnerd26**. Good luck with that Wyley.
The Sprinting Bens 51.20 Match v Cooter's Grundel 117.52 : 1.69%. I’m not saying that there’s no chance Hakeem Nicks (listed as questionable) and Kia Cadillac Williams (2nd on depth-chart) will score 66 points. The only issue is that there is no chance Hakeem Nicks and Honda Civic Cadillac Williams will score 66 points.
Oh and Kurt- name the fucking league already so I can update the poonball headline picture.
Oh and Kurt- name the fucking league already so I can update the poonball headline picture.
* I can’t believe I said ‘tall order’ and ‘out of reach’ without making a napoleon complex joke about Biz. Let me correct that now: I believe Jared’s at-times aggressive and confrontational behavior is a manifestation of insecurities regarding his height.
**Brett if you think we’re not going to delve into your ridiculous yahoo name at a later date than you’re more delusional than a Jacksonville Jaguars fan who’s looking forward to the 2013 season***.
***because the Jags will be in L.A by then.****
**** I hate it when I have to explain my football related jokes to Wyley.
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